Monthly archive - July 2011

You’re Under Arrest!

It must be illegal to be single. It looks like the time is coming when you’ll be driving down the interstate singing your favorite tune or bopping to that jam with the sunroof down until you look in the rear view mirror to find flashing cop lights. Some curse word explodes out of your mouth and you pull over. You’re trying to figure out what you did. Your eyes flash to the speedometer and it’s not that. Your seat belt was on. Whatever. You pull over and the cop makes his way over, and asks you if you’re single. Dazed, you answer yes, and he shakes his head and proceeds to tell you that you are under arrest and reads you your rights.

“You are under arrest for being single, for not having “someone”. You are charged with not going with the culture of just having a boyfriend or girlfriend for the sake of having someone. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do about your singleness can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney to explain why you are still single. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Isn’t that how it feels sometimes? That you’re missing a societal limb if you don’t have a significant other.
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