2 Things Classy Women Will Do On Valentine’s Day

Feb 14th is just around the corner and blood pressures around the world are starting to rise as many men figure out how to prove their love on Valentine’s Day. Flower shops are going to make up to 70% (or more) of their yearly revenue that week and restaurants are going to be packed!

So ladies…the question is…after all that effort and production he goes through, how will he feel about you the next morning?

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ll tell you this for sure: Some men will wake up the next morning feeling like the woman (NOT necessarily what she DID)…The ACTUAL woman …was worth it. They will wake up feeling like “hmm…that’s a woman I’d like to invest in…and be around…and get to know on a deeper level”

On the other hand, many men will have a severe case of spender’s remorse the next morning as many realize that they spent way too much money on women who were not worth it… women who were more concerned about being taken out/getting a gift (so that they have something to report to their girlfriends), than they were interested in having a date or gift specifically from him. Huge difference.

ALL OVER THE WORLD, there is no question of what is expected of most men on this day. But many women may not know what men expect of them. Many women may not know the things that make all the difference….that make a man say “now that’s a woman I’ll gladly have a date with every night of the year”.

So how does a classy woman handle the Valentine’s date (OR ANY DATE FOR THAT MATTER)? How does she go from just being “some woman” he took on a date, to “THE ONLY” woman we wants to take on a date?

1.Be intellectually engaging: If dinner or an evening out is a part of V-day, be intellectually engaging. Why? Because on this day, he has worked extra hard and spent extra money on you and on making the evening happen. What many women don’t know is that the expectation they have of the man to “create a good V-Day experience” for her, is the same expectation the men have of women to “make that V-Day production worth it” (whatever that means within your standards). Think about it this way:

You spend all week waiting for how grand he will make V-day, and he spends all V-day wondering how grand your appreciation will be for the effort he has put in.

…So at least be good company.

Don’t leave being “interesting” to just to him. Don’t make the evening one directional by leaving him to ask about YOUR day, YOUR career, YOUR dreams, YOUR this or YOUR that. Classy women understand that being classy is not about being able to receive things and gifts but it’s about WHO they are, their personality and intellect. Classy women understand that any woman can look pretty, play dress up and show up to dinner, or open the door for Fedex to deliver a V-day package. Classy women can do all that and be intellectually stimulating too. On this night, he probably put some good effort (or at least tried to)…you should at least contribute to making the TIME together enjoyable.

Sure, he can make reservations, arrange special deliveries, buy perfect gifts and plan a perfect day but he can’t control your personality or attitude. In fact…on this day, he may even be off his game. YUP. He may be so mentally drained from working out all the details…and concentrating too much on finding out if you “like it” (whatever that production is), that HE can’t even relax and enjoy the time. That’s where you come in classy lady.

 2.Give an “A” for Effort: So he spends a lot of time and effort trying to create the perfect night for you. Many spend money they don’t have and they try to anticipate what you might like. They call places to make reservations, they buy roses, get chocolate, your favorite wine and a Mariachi band…it’s a production.

That said, think about this:

How many of these men sit in anticipation all week of what women are planning for them on V-day?

Talk to most men, and they don’t even remember or realize that V-day is a TWO-WAY thing. Many usually don’t expect anything in terms of gifts and surprises form the very women they work so hard to please.

So why? Why do men do all that running around? Well, we want to impress you. We want you to acknowledge what we go through to make that day happen. We want to hear you say that you understand what it took to put this together and make you happy.

On a deeper level, we too get a lot of self-validation from you. Yes. I said it. Isn’t that great news???? The thing though, is that classy women don’t take that for granted.

Classy women understand that there is a difference between staying emotionally elusive (because God forbid that he thinks you like him) to elicit the man’s continued pursuit, and being inconsiderate and rude. A classy woman understands that acknowledging a man doesn’t make her cheap or easy. It doesn’t give him the “power” (on the contrary…) and it doesn’t make her less worth the chase. Many women forget to just be courteous.

So at the end of the night, regardless of what else is going down, spend a few minutes to seriously acknowledge the effort that went into the day whether he totally got it right or not (especially if you didn’t spend/ do much yourself).

That sounds like “Hey I appreciate your effort today. It really felt like you put some thought into the evening.  You picked me up on time, you opened my door…that was really nice, the restaurant /concert/ whatever selection was a great choice, the wait staff was excellent, the window seat was perfect, and the flowers were gorgeous. Yellow is actually one of my favorite colors and you were a great listener tonight. Thanks for putting all that together” …

SPECIFIC affirmation…not just “Thanks for a great night… I had a great time”.

His attention to detail comes in setting up the evening. YOUR attention to detail is in recognizing and affirming all the elements of his effort.

You never want a man to say “The money, time and effort he spent on you were worth IT” NO. You want him to say that “YOU….YOU were worth the money, time and effort”…. and classy women understand the difference.

The first talks about the INVESTMENT (WHAT he put in) being worth IT. Sounds so impersonal…so general …like “IT” could have been accomplished with any other woman. The second talks about YOU (WHO he did it for) being worth the investment. That sounds more personal…like the reason V-day was great was because of you and that it wouldn’t have been as unique or great of an experience with any other woman.

So on V-day…on that date, be fabulous, be lovely, be courteous and very importantly, be Classy.

 

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