You NEED These People in Your Life NOW


Want to live your best life and be your best self? Want to have a life that enables not cripples your dreams? Want to be supported in life and feed off forward propelling energy from those around you? Then you need to locate, recruit, and keep these people around you.

People who believe in you more than you believe in yourself:

This is one of the most encouraging and motivating relationships and flat-out gifts someone could give another. To believe in them more than they believe in themselves.

Consider yourself extremely lucky if you are ever so lucky to have someone like this in your life.

They help you work beyond what is logical to you. You see, logic works against motivation. Logic works against faith. People like that force you to consider the fact that there are great things about you that you don’t even know about yourself. So when you feel like giving up, they remind you of what you can’t see. They keep the faith going for you when you don’t have any faith in yourself left. Quite literally, when we can’t go on by ourselves, they tell us we must.

People who make it easy to do the right thing:

This is a subtle one because it is not very easy to tell if the people in your life are people like this. Why? Because everyone wants to think that the company they keep is made up of good people. That said, it is really not that hard. Here is one way to work through that:

If you had to do something that was unpopular (in your family, culture etc) but was the right thing to do, how supported would you feel when you saw those people? How much explaining would you have to do? How much convincing would you have to do?
That’s a huge indicator.

That said, it’s important to say this: You have to be really careful not to misuse this. Not everyone who disagrees with your actions or motives should be eliminated from your life. It IS possible that your sense of right and wrong is off. So this is all hard to tell exactly.
Just be on the look out also for trends. Do they often disagree with things like that?

People who are already doing/have done what you want to do:

Whatever you want to do in life, connect with someone who has done it before.
It is VERY important to put a face to that thing. WAIT THOUGH. I am not talking about looking for who to copy…because what you are doing could be truly revolutionary so there may not be someone who has done exactly that. But there may be someone who has done something similar.

It doesn’t even have to be in the same industry or space. Looking to start a record label for cows when everyone has said it is impossible? look for someone who has spent his/her life saving dolphins when everyone thought it was impossible. Get it?

They will not just let you know it can be done, they will be able to offer specific and highly useful advice for making it through the lion’s den of accomplishing your dreams. Not only that, (and this may be even more important than the first) you can learn their value systems. Yup. The thought processes, decisions, rationales, behaviors, and nuances they had, that created the success you are trying to replicate.

People who count on you for emotional support: 

Ask anyone who has people who count on them for financial support and they will tell you that it makes them seek out financial strength (so there will enough to go around). They will tell you they can’t linger in their own financial selfishness for too long before they remember its not about them. The same thing happens when people count on you emotionally. It has a way of making you emotionally stronger. It forces you not to linger in your emotionally low moments because you know you have to be strong for others

People you can count on for emotional support:

You know…sometimes you just need a good cry….a good listener. Someone you can go to and tell just how much things hurt. Someone you can talk to when life seems to have you in a chokehold.
Yes…God is there and that conversation should be ongoing. But it is very healthy to have an actual person who can do that for you …or at least try.

It doesn’t mean they will understand everything about everything that is going on with you or even that they can solve any of your problems. It just means they are able to listen. It means they are just there for you to vent and share. This is one of the greatest gifts a spouse can give the other.

People who are praying for you:

So it’s one thing to have people who believe in you more than you believe in yourself. It’s another level entirely to know that you are being prayed for.
It unconsciously tells you that they are bringing in more guns to support their belief in you. In other words, they are on a mission to recruit God to get on your side. You may not realize this but It has a very positive effect on you. (By the way, that’s why you should do it for others too)

People who serve with you:

Successful people don’t seem to get “fulfillment” unless they are giving back in one way or the other. There is a need that God has put inside of us all, to serve. To help people…to make an impact in the lives of people around us. What adds icing to that cake…what makes it even MORE fulfilling is to serve with people you care about. To find yourself knee deep in service next to people you care about. Friends…loved ones…people you met while serving that you now share a bond with.

Here is what serving does: It reaffirms to you that you are more than your successes or failures.

Here is what serving with people you know does: It reaffirms to you that you are more than your successes and failures….and there are people who are sure of it.

People who see your gift…and celebrate it:

You need this. Desperately. In fact…if you can, marry this type of person.
After all, the Bible does say that “…gift will make way …” (Proverbs 18:16).

You see, when you have people in your life who see your gift, they will be more patient with your flaws. They will be your eyes and ears out there looking for opportunities for you.
They will be some of the best listeners you will have. You will be able to bounce ideas off them and get great feedback knowing fully well, they have your best interest at heart.

People with whom it is OK that you are not making more money than you are right now:

This is a God send. But first, let me clarify. This is not about being happy that you don’t have to do much…or being lazy hiding behind someone else’s hard work. No. This is about having people around you who understand where you are in your hustle. Key phrase “In your hustle”.

It’s not like they don’t think you should be making money…but they understand the PROCESS. They get it. They understand that before you can get, you have to give. They get that before you start charging for every cd, every book copy, every t-shirt, every ticket, every consultation or whatever else you are working on, you have to give and spend. Yea…giving out free samples, getting paid in I-Owe-Yous, getting paid in barter systems…getting exposure…investing in the work…in the audience….giving to the child in your mind before you start taking …or making money. If you are on the grind, you need people like that.

People who can call you out …by pulling you close:

When all the lights go out and the cameras stop flashing, when the day comes to an end, (whatever the “day” means for you) you NEED someone who can tell you like it is…without making you feel like a fool. People who can tell you that what you did/are doing/are thinking about doing was/is wrong without wrecking your self-confidence.

Now…I do have to mention that there is some responsibility on your part to have some thick skin and be able to hear the truth. Not all truth is comfortable. You have to give people around you the verbal or nonverbal permission to tell you the truth when they need to.

That said, you need people who have TACT… who understand timing. People who don’t embarrass you simply because they have a yearning to tell you the truth.

Phew! There ya have it!

Now get going and recruit these people into your life.
What do you think? Which you need the most right now? Which ones do you have in your life already? Comment below

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  • Joy

    Hello Tobi. Really, thanks for writing and sharing this.

    As I read through, names and faces popped up in my head of the people in my life who fit some of these descriptions (people who believe in me more than I believe in myself, who see my gift and celebrate it, who are praying for me, and who I can count on for emotional support), and also of people in whose lives I would say I fit some of these descriptions as well, lol.

    Great read!

    • Hey Joy!! Awesome. Thanks for sharing! Isn’t it amazing?…to be able to have those faces pop up. You immediately have a better appreciation for them and you feel like being that person for others. Win-Win all around!