Author archive - ijustmetme

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ijustmetme

Is Your Relationship or Marriage Demanding You to Compromise Yourself or to Grow?

Woman Thinking on Laptop
Nobody wants to totally lose themselves in relationships. In fact, we fight tooth and nail in relationships to retain the versions of ourselves we are used to so we say or hear things like:

I want someone to love me the way I am
I don’t want to lose myself in the relationship or marriage
I know this person loves me because they never try to change me

It’s a blurry line this one. The line between “Compromising Yourself” and Growth. They are like twins only that we believe that one of them has a negative connotation (has horns) and that the other one has a positive one (has halos).
Which is which and how do you tell?
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The Prenup Conversation We Don’t Want to Have (Especially in Church)

Young Couple Thinking
The prenup conversation is just one of those conversations that are so unromantic for most people that the very mention of it is bound to make both people seriously uncomfortable and will even cause many to feel that there is a red flag in the relationship.

And since the church doesn’t believe or advocate divorce, by default, the church doesn’t believe in or promote prenuptial agreements. That is totally understandable.

Over the past several months, I have been asked several times about it by students in my course, readers of my blog and other Christian singles who (even though they agree that they don’t want to end up in divorce) still have questions about prenups and at least want to have a conversation around it to help them be better grounded on the matter.and I have spent the past few weeks trying to understand it so I can present an objective perspective for the Christian single who wants to have a bit more clarity about it. Read more

6 CRITICAL Lessons We MUST Learn from the Last Generation of Believers… if We Really Want To Please God in This Generation

Young AdultsIf there is one sentiment that Young Adult Believers (all over the world) feel about the “church”, it’s that they feel a bit frustrated by the way the previous generation does things…relates with people….preaches…interprets Christ, runs the church and just about everything they do.
We want to create fun environments and have awesome events with great sound, cool speakers, snacks, with loads of noise, energy and fun. Oh..and yea…can’t forget…the flyer has to be on point.

Here is the thing though….WE MIGHT BE IN DANGER because of that…
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When Your Faith and Your Works Don’t Quite Work Out

Frustration
It’s like getting a new car one day and then finding out the car won’t start the next morning.

It’s a somewhat similar feeling when we fast…we pray and we work our tails off to make sure we are pulling our own weight in the equation and still, nada…nothing …zilch.
Where you were anticipating wealth, you found debt. Where you were looking for acknowledgment you found rejection. Where you were looking for evidence that God had been with you all along, you find your faith shaken like never before.

You’re reeling and asking yourself what you missed. How did this not work? How is it that I know that God is in this and yet it looks like a cow pooped on it?
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Stay or Let it Go?

stay...or let it goThings were once great…once hopeful. But you are tired. Tired of feeling this way. Tired of this sinking feeling that this relationship needs to end.
It’s been haunting you and you are getting close (if you are not already there) to the point where you are “In it….but not really IN IT”.

After a while, (whether you voice it or not) certain thoughts start to creep in and start to get louder:

-Did I make a good decision to make a commitment to this person in the first place?
-Are we going somewhere or am I wasting my time?
-Where is the line between compromise and undermining myself?
-I’ve been here for so long…will it be worth it to start over?
-If I break this off, will people think the worst of me?
And the grand daddy of them all…
-Should I stay or let it go?
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Don’t Just Say I Love You … on Valentine’s Day, Have These Deep, Meaningful Conversations Instead

Vals day
So…its that time of year again where we are supposed to celebrate love and buy roses and go on dates and express our love and all that good stuff. It’s going to be a madhouse at flower shops, gift shops, and restaurants… and that’s all good.
There is one thing though, that I have noticed about V-Day: There is so much help out there about what to DO but not enough help on what to SAY or HOW to say it.

Sure you have that someone else wrote that seems to capture what you want to say in a few words….but as you know deep down inside, that can’t replace that deep 30-minute conversation when you are fully connected, vulnerable and actually communicating. Read more