A LOADED GUN Relationship or Marriage

A Loaded Gun Relationship Or Marriage

“Pishaun!” “Pishaun!” I yelled as I ducked behind the yellow couch in our living room many years ago as a kid. My younger brother and I played war games all the time growing up. “Pishaun!” I yelled again as I pointed my toy gun and sent an imaginary bullet towards my opponent on the other side of the room…hoping to silence him for the afternoon. Did it work? Did he show respect for his older brother? NO. He sent imaginary bullets, grenades and missiles.

The battle raged on for the entire afternoon until we heard the sound of dad’s green Peugeot 504 and the fear of getting spanked for messing up the couch became greater than the fear of death by imaginary bullets. So we made peace and the war ended.

Now….guns are dangerous. However, what makes the gun dangerous is not the gun itself, it’s the bullet; and a bullet is nothing much, without the gun. So a gun is not dangerous and neither is a bullet. It’s a gun loaded with a bullet that is.

No matter how a gun is polished, it’s not living its destiny…its true purpose  if there is no bullet; and no matter how potent  a bullet is no matter how loaded with gun powder it is, it is not living its destiny if its not being fired from a gun.

When you are with (or meet) the right person, you should feel like a shiny bullet that found a shiny gun to be propelled from or like a shiny gun that found the right shiny bullet to help it do what it was supposed to do.

And here is the clincher…even the best gun, loaded with the best bullet….(a perfect marriage), won’t be as potent…wont function as well unless it’s in the right hands.

Put the best gun, loaded with the best bullet in the hands of the wrong person? In the hands of someone who doesn’t understand its purpose, its functionality and its intricacies, doesn’t know how to handle it, aim it, clean it…Disaster. Not good for the gun, not good for the bullet and certainly not good for anyone else.

So where am I going with this:

1) Whether you are the gun or the bullet, you must work at becoming the best fit for the person you are with or will be with:

A rusted, clogged gun is almost no use to a brand new bullet and an empty bullet shell with no gun powder is no use to a brand new gun. Whichever one you are, you must work to make yourself the best fit for the person you are with, or the person you will be with …for the person that God has given to you as a husband or wife. You MUST keep filling yourself as bullet and keep polishing yourself as gun. This is our individual responsibility.

2) Whether you are the gun or the bullet, the right person will make you pack a punch in life:

When you are with/married to the right person, it should feel like they make you more productive in the things that matter to your destiny, your purpose and your overall well-being. They should make you feel more potent…more powerful.

If you are the gun, they should make you feel as though there is more to you than the surface….they should make you feel like you are their secret weapon. That you are not just an empty case.

The right person makes you feel like how Frodo Baggins felt when he had that “ring”…like he wasn’t just some ordinary hobbit. (TWEET THAT) 

And if you are the bullet, they should make you feel as though you are not small. They should make you feel powerful…potent…like you pack a punch. With that person, you should feel as though even though you look small, you ARE great and can have major impact in every direction you go.

3) When you do find your perfect gun or perfect bullet to complement you, you should both want to be in the right hands:

And that’s in the hands of God. Because ultimately….after all is said and done, the impact of a loaded gun depends on its creator and handler. If your marriage is being handled by wobbly hands (petty things, your unstable personalities, worldly desires, pressures of life, changing trends and fads in society)…it won’t hit any targets.

If it’s held in hands that seem stable but pointed in the wrong direction (wrong goals, wrong measurements of success, wrong formulas for handling conflict, wrong individual agendas, lack of flexibility), it’ll hit targets, but the wrong ones.

So to the MARRIED folks…I say

Even rusty guns can be oiled & cleaned and empty bullet cases can be filled. Just because your marriage isn’t what it’s supposed to be now doesn’t mean that it can’t be fixed. You both just have to HONESTLY want it to work.

Ask yourself…or have a conversation about this: Have I been a good bullet for my spouse? Have I been a good gun for my spouse? In other words, have I been a good accelerator…a good propeller…a good resource….have I contributed to his/her stock. Do I serve as a source of power for my spouse?

In fact, the sexiest … most grown up relationship question you may ask all year is:

 “How can I be a better secret weapon for you in life?

You can even make this a date night –And if you do this right…date night will end right ;o)

To the SINGLE folks… I say

When you start dating or even just “talking” to someone, one of the very important “keeper” signs is that the person will start acting in the interest of your dreams and destiny. Tell them when you meet that you want to be a fashion photographer, and they will give you a verbal spanking when you spend money on that handbag instead of a new camera.

The right person should make you feel like your success is their success too. (TWEET THAT) 

Tell them you want to start a business; and they will never be bored talking about it and dreaming with you. In fact, they will be fine to make date night “product research night”. They will randomly send you articles about your dreams and be willing to help you simply BECOME “whatever” you were meant to be.

Want a great relationship or marriage? It all starts from you. Don’t expect someone else to be for you what you cannot be for someone else. Tobi Atte

So BE the right person, FIND the right person, and PUT the relationship in the right hands.