Why Some Men Take A While To Propose…or Don’t At All

Yes. I am going to go there. Why? Because the issue of timing, proposal, and “taking things to the next level” is one of the most frustrating and confusing aspects of dating.

Both men and women see this as a “very touchy” issue. Women are frustrated because they think men just stall for no good reason and Men are frustrated because they feel the pressure to propose and their reasons for waiting never seem to be good enough.

Why some men take a while to propose...or dont at all

Women are frustrated because it just seems so logical and easy to “take it to the next level”, and Men are frustrated because they cant seem to properly articulate the deeper reasons why “popping the question” is not as easy as it sounds.

It’s a mess.The following reasons are not your cliché reasons. You know… “men are just afraid of commitment” or “he has somebody else” and so on. Na. We are going IN for this one.

This is for big girls and big boys only. In true IJustMetMe fashion, this may sting a little, but it will be real, it will be true, and it will set you free.

I pray that as you watch them, they will provide insights, inspiration, direction and perhaps maybe even some closure.

Two things real quick:
A) At the bottom of the post, there are a couple of important things I share with you to remember so dont miss that.

B) This is a VIDEO series so IF you are reading this IN YOUR EMAIL, itll be a MUCH smoother experience if you switch over to web view on the blog that way you dont have to go back and forth between video and email for each one. JUST CLICK HERE TO SWITCH TO THE BLOG NOW. (If you are already on the blog, Yay!)

Ok here we go:

WHY SOME MEN TAKE A WHILE TO PROPOSE…OR DONT AT ALL

1. He Can’t Sustain How He Got You

2. He Knows What You Want…But He Doesn’t Think You know What HE Really Wants In Marriage

3. You Want To Get Married…For The Wrong Reasons…And He Knows It

4. For Men, Proposing Is Like Getting Married

5. You Don’t Acknowledge The Opportunity Cost of What He Does To Impress You

6. He Loves You But He Doesn’t REALLY Have Anything To Respect You For

7. He Sees You As A Great Girlfriend But Not As A Wife

So there we have it.

Now…a couple of things for both men and women to remember before you go:

For women, just remember that as a woman, your value as a person isn’t made or broken by how quickly someone decides to marry you or not, and that while it is important for you to be aware of these things, you have to maintain love for yourself. You dont have to be who you dont want to be simply to fit into a man’s mold. That doesnt mean you dont have to change for the sake of relationships, it simply means that you too have the right to see value in the change that is being demanded of you… that while you may have a lot of work to do on yourself, HE too has a lot of work to do on himself to even be able to recognize the work you are doing.

For the men, you too must remember that you have the right to feel comfortable moving to the “next level”. Proposing to a woman is not just about her and making her feel comfortable and secure about the relationship. You have the right to be comfortable about it too. If there are issues you are deeply concerned about, articulate them in love, and have them resolved. If they are inexplicable, then you have the right to stall and sort those feelings out before you put both of you on a downward spiral. Your feelings matter just as much.

Ok….lets talk about it. What did you think? Which ones really hit a spot in you? Which ones really got you thinking about yourself or your relationships?  (Comment below)

 

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  • Kelap

    What an awesome perspective! While I am not dating, I can appreciate your perspective for the future. Keep blessing people with your outlook on dating. It is certainly needed.

  • Mez

    With the first video: Very true, some men will genuinely up their game to get you and yes they may struggle with maintaining to keep you, but he may allow himself to become a better person and appreciate the woman for her commitment to her standards in inspiring him to be a better man. BUT there are men who pretend to be better than who they are to get you… and they resent you for expecting them to continue with the behaviors that they “got” you with. These are 2 very different kinds of men and women need to be discerning in “watching” as Judge Lynn Toler says: you date a guy and you WATCH him. He keeps behaving so you… WATCH him some more. He proposes, you accept and then you WATCH him. Women need to stop thinking they have been “gotten” by a good man and check that he was planning on keeping up his behavior or whether once he knew you had fallen in love, was ready to revert back to his default values.