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You took YOU with you Jun 5, 2011
One of the ways I know I need to write on a topic is when I suddenly start getting questions around a theme or issue…and this is one of them. Furthermore, I felt urgency about this one because:
a) The questions were from Men…specifically, young men that were deeply interested in being good men and good husbands. (Ladies…. these men do exist and If you keep telling yourself they don’t you wont find them. I digress….)
b) Men typically are not typically wired to reach out for help from other men especially on matters of the heart.
So…here is the theme of questions I was getting:
Relationships are like doors…and doors are interesting. (Yea..doors)
Because doors are in the same breath the entrance and the exit. Doors are at the same time the entrance to something amazing and the exit from something amazing. Yet doors could be (still at the same time as all the above) an entrance into something terrible yet the exit from something terrible.
I guess it all depends on who is going through the door and what they believe is on the other side.
When you really think about it, the start and the functioning of a relationship/marriage are like two people at the door.
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At the start of every year, I publish a post in the New Life Resolutions series… Its one of the most important posts of any year. I have done this for the past 7 years and the idea behind the series was born out of a response to (and as an alternative for) New Year Resolutions. I just knew there had to be a better way to think about that.
I like how I penned it down in Part 3: The Paradigm Shift on Resolutions
“If it is really worth fighting to change that thing this year,
it should really be worth maintaining that change every year.”
Tobi Atte
I have spent the last 7 years eager to help people get the paradigm shift that will move them harder and faster towards their goals in life.
This year is a little different. I am not just eager. I am kinda desperate.
And as I have thought about this more and more, I have come to a major conclusion that the rest of this post will be about. Here it is:
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When your life plane goes to Tokyo instead of Lagos.
When your forever plan takes a mad detour.
When your “OMG I can’t wait to start” turns into “God if you just get me out of this”
You get the idea.
Sometimes it just feels like you’re off course, off plan, off your life timeline. And admit it….sometimes you feel like you have no one else to point to or blame than God.
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I see them. Almost every day on my commute I see them. Sleepwalkers.
No, they don’t drip venom from the side of their mouths and no they don’t walk like zombies. They’re in their suits and dresses…scurrying off to some job or venture. In a hurry…but asleep…and still cause death.
How do they kill? They don’t appear at night and suck your blood. They don’t jump out of the closet to bite your arm off.
It’s much simpler.
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Hey buddy,
It is quite possible that you have heard some of these points before. I am hoping though, that this letter will drill them in further.
This is about your life and your heart. This is about helping you navigate your life as an unmarried young man in a way that will hopefully set you up to have the fulfilling life and marriage you want.
Get ready. Some of them might be very counter-intuitive.
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