To Young Unmarried Men – An Open Letter You Should Read Slowly

Hey buddy,

It is quite possible that you have heard some of these points before. I am hoping though, that this letter will drill them in further.

This is about your life and your heart. This is about helping you navigate your life as an unmarried young man in a way that will hopefully set you up to have the fulfilling life and marriage you want.

Get ready. Some of them might be very counter-intuitive.
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One Halo for Two People

Have you ever said…or heard someone say “I don’t deserve him/her” when trying to express appreciation for the other person?
What many people are trying to convey, is just that: appreciation.
Many people, however, actually mean it. For them, it’s not about sounding romantic or being cute. For them, they are living it.
They truly believe deep down inside that they don’t deserve this person.

The thing though, is that “Appreciative of” vs “not deserving of” don’t always mean the same thing.
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The Flipside: When He is not Ready to Take the Relationship to the Next Level

A little while ago, I wrote a piece titled “When You Ask Her Out (or Propose) and She Says She is Not Ready”

It was mainly to the fellas…helping them manage that response and so on. You should read it. (Link is at the bottom)

Lately though…I have been getting questions from ladies about men who are not taking the relationship to the next level. Men who are saying:
“It was nice getting to know you but…”
“I really like you…but…”
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Wakanda – An African’s Perspective on Black Panther

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last few weeks, you’ve heard about the super dope Black Panther movie that just came out. (Spoiler Alert*** FYI there may be some spoilers)

Wifey and I went to see it and yes. It lived up to all the hype. You leave the movie AFFECTED. It was great. Period. And this post is not about that greatness. The thing though, is that the cinematic experience is the smallest part of this movie. By far.
Many people left the movie theaters with the same emotions….but the emotions many Africans felt were different. Not that Africans didn’t love the movie (are you kidding? we adored it)…just that it affected us differently than what you are hearing about in mainstream media. Read more

You Are a Good Person, But…

Have you ever met someone you liked…and maybe even started a relationship with, that had a “big but”? (Thank goodness I am spelling this out and not saying this. lol).
For real though. You meet this person and most things are good but they just have this area that just screams “red flag” on the inside. Or maybe you are in a relationship/marriage and you feel there is something not quite right about things even though this person is a really nice person… and you cant pinpoint what it is (or cant articulate it)
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After 5 Years of Marriage…We’ve Learned a Few Things

So Bukky and I celebrated our 5th year anniversary in December and we both got some time to reflect on what we have learned after 5 years.

These are some of the most important lessons and realizations that have come out…and are totally worth sharing:
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