New LIFE Resolutions Part 4 - Before You Run Off To Set New Goals…
Image courtesy of Toa55 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Picture a motorcycle race. The rider is ready. The bike is equipped with everything that it needs to win. The rider has been waiting for this moment for a long time. He is ready to go. He revs the engine and it answers … He can see the finish line and can picture himself dashing across that line in top speed.
On your mark…set…GO!
His wrists and ankles go into action and off the motorcycle goes. 10feet…20feet…40feet…Then...What happens if say…he forgot to remove the strong 40 foot chain anchor he used to tie the motorcycle down prior to the race?
Yea. You guessed it. He’d be flung off the bike as the bike is jerked to a halt as the restraint does its job to hold the bike down. No matter how prepared that bike was to win, there’d be no winning that day.
This is what happens to our goals. Even when we equip ourselves with the best tools, the best gear, the best methods and the best plan, we don’t remove the limiting anchors that may prevent us from achieving those goals.
Everyone is in a frenzy right now to set new goals. New Year, New Season, New Quarter, New Era. Call it whatever you want but I bet you that some New Year resolutions are already failing and some will never even see the light of day not to talk of the end of it. Some new goals are going to evaporate before they get a chance to materialize.Even when we have the desire to accomplish goals and change our lives, we forget we must do the things that will actually FREE our goal-vehicle to take off:Here are three simple things.Do them and you will give your goals a much better chance at taking off:
1) Watch your MOUTH! Watch your MIND!
REALLY spend some time thinking about the thoughts (I know….THINKING ABOUT THOUGHTS- What a concept!) that got you to where you are now. Or better still, the thoughts that have prevented you from achieving your goals or aspirations…that have kept you down….ESPECIALLY THE ONES YOU VERBALIZE!
I’m not good with numbers/I’m an introvert/ I am terrible at public speaking/I’m not very pretty/It’s just my luck/ I’m not good in sales/ I’ll never be able to look like that.
This language pattern is absolute and defeating. You are saying “this IS who I am and there is no possibility of change or even turning this into an advantage”
Look…I am NOT saying that we don’t all have inadequacies or things we could be better at, and I am not saying that we should live in pretense about our shortcomings. What I AM saying is that you must learn to classify or recognize those things as TENDENCIES not ABSOLUTES. That way, you create mental space to tell yourself that you can change. That way, you give yourself an opportunity to ACT in a manner that is different from your natural tendencies.
Start by reframing the way you speak about yourself:So for example, you are offered an opportunity that would involve public speaking. If you reply to the offer (even to yourself) by saying “I am terrible at public speaking”, what you are actually saying to yourself and the person is:-I am SURE that I am not fit/capable for this opportunity-There really isn’t any room for growth or change. This is absolute and I know it for sure-I am not willing to come out of my comfort zone to meet you half way
However, if you answer by saying something like “This sounds great…although I do even better in more intimate settings”. What you are actually saying to yourself and the person is:
-I can see this is a great opportunity
-I can do this, just maybe under slightly different conditions/environments
-There is space for us to meet each other halfway
What you think and say about yourself is a critical platform from which your dreams will either take flight or rot and die.
Whether you think you can or that you can't, either way you're usually right ~ Henry Ford
2) Ensure that 30-40% the things that you say you need to achieve your goals are within your control.
This is important. Sure not everything you need is going to be available to you right now or even within your control. However, at every step of your goal setting and planning, make sure you have a good number of those items/things/resources within your control. This is one of the most important protections against procrastination and loss of motivation. Why? Well, because when most things seem to out of your control, you lose motivation, you are more prone to procrastinate…to wait till “those” things get in line or “those” people approve your proposal and “that” thing gets sorted out.
Again this is not to say that you won’t need external things or people (outside of yourself) to achieve your goals. This is simply saying that at every step, own a good part of the process because many times in life, the external forces we need don’t move in our favor until we ourselves have moved. So look at your list and think - what can I do while I wait for X. What can I do while Y is pending? This way of thinking is what will help you create continuous motion in the direction of your dreams.Motion will cause momentum and momentum will make your load easier
3) Now take time to define and name the thoughts that created the life you currently have.
Look around you and THINK! REALLY…THINK. Your love life…your finances…your career…your life. What thoughts created this life?What beliefs got me here? What has worked? Which ones do I need to build more flexibility into? Which ones just need to go? Which ones are just taking up space because I want to feel like I belong?For the ones that have worked…HOW have they actually worked? How do they manifest/show up in my behaviors and results? The ones that didn’t work…HOW do they show up? What were the consequences? …and so on. This is not a flimsy exercise. If you really want to have a better tomorrow, it’s going to be important for you to learn how to evaluate yesterday through a learner’s lenses.(If you think you’ll need some guidance with this, just write a comment below or write me. I am thinking of creating a webinar/seminar around this.)
4) Read the previous posts in the series if you have not already.
These are DEEP posts on some critical foundational issues on goal setting, achievement, and living a fulfilling life. Here they are:
a) New Life Resolutions Pt1: Why personal goals and resolutions fail and what you should do about it
c) New Life Resolutions Pt3: The Paradigm Shift on Resolutions
Save this link. Come back to it. Do what it says and trust me; you would have done yourself a huge service by making sure that the anchors don’t hold you back.Good luck and GET IT DONE!