9 Relationship And Wedding Lessons From A BOLD Couple On Their Wedding Day
I came across this video a few months ago and I just cant get enough of it.Before you watch this, get ready. If you’re married, you might feel like having another wedding. If you’re not, you’ll feel like “wow this is how I want to feel on that day”. If you’re in a relationship, you might think “whoa…I’d like my marriage or relationship to feel like this”Here we go.Picture them living together….picture them with family, picture them broke…rich…in the grocery store, at your party, at a concert, at their kids soccer game….Yup…if their wedding was anything to go by, there wouldn’t be a dull moment.Now...I don’t know them personally. I hope their life together is just as great as it was on that wedding day. Either way, whether you are married or not, there are just some crazy good and critical lessons that we can take form their wedding day. Gosh I REALLY pray for them that they stay this way.
Ok here we go:
1) Marry your friend:
Hold up…I’m not talking about the cliché definition of that. You know…the “marry someone who cares about you, listens, is there for you and etc” that goes without saying. What I am talking about is marrying someone who loves at least a few of the same things you love. It shows. It makes such a difference. When the things you love are not a chore to the person you love…it shows. There should be one or two things that you can both be enthusiastic about. Marry your friend.
2) Marry your playmate:
Ever hear the saying “work hard play hard”? Well, yea sure you want someone who works hard at whatever they do...but you want someone with whom you can play hard with. Someone who has similar hobbies and actually invests time into that hobby. You could tell they were BOTH into rap BEFORE they got together. If you are already married, find something you both love and wouldn’t mind investing in together (doesn’t even have to even mean an investment of money…it could just be time spent together)
3) Trust does not operate in a vacuum. It is rehearsed:
The more you can depend on each other at precise times, the more trust you have.
Trust comes when expectations are expressed clearly and those expectations are clearly accepted and executed. Tobi Atte
Think about what it took to rehearse those songs and have each person come in and out like that. Jumping in at precise times and sticking to the beat. That’s what trust is about. Trust comes when expectations are expressed clearly and those expectations are clearly accepted and executed. After that expression and acceptance, comes rehearsal …and the more times we rehearse trust, the more of it we have in a relationship.
4) Their wedding was not just an event. It was an experience- ESPECIALLY FOR THEM:
At your wedding, YOU are the reason your guests are there. They didn’t come for free food and they didn’t come for memories of performers or other people. (ok maybe the free food)
They came for memories of you the couple. So let them see your love displayed.
For those of you planning your wedding, don’t get carried away by preparing for guests, that the day just comes and goes like a big blur. On your wedding day, don’t be so worried about satisfying the people who come, that you forget yourselves…that you forget to make time to make the day an experience for you.
Ask yourself: “what are we going to DO WITH EACH OTHER that will make it memorable for us. Rehearse a dance lesson together (Wifey and I took salsa lessons and had a salsa dance for our first dance- you already know I killed it. lol)And if you are married, the question is…are we creating new memories with each other?
5) Don’t be afraid to be so into each other even when it looks foolish to others:
It’s the moments when we display love even when we look silly, that make the best and cutest memories ever. Tobi Atte
At the end of the day, it’s about you two. That’s it. Sade said it best “Its all about our love”Be INTENTIONAL about being into each other. Chase after it. Let me tell you.It’s the moments when we display love even when we look silly, that make the best and cutest memories ever.
Ladies, blow kisses to your man in public and see how fast his cheeks expand from ear to ear. Fellas...don’t have a good voice…sing to her in public anyway and see how cute in the face she gets. BE into each other. Forget protocol. You feel like landing a wet one somewhere on the northwest side of your wife’s face while at the mall, do it. Feel like playing tongue war with your husband at the grocery store...have at it. BE INTO EACH OTHER.
6) A bride’s cool factor is not on how perfect she LOOKS on that day or any day. It’s how perfect she MAKES the day with her man:
Nothing wrong with looking perfect for your wedding day. Get the best dress, the best hairdresser and the best contour makeup artist on the planet and it still won’t top the coolness factor when you make your man feel special on that day. It’s what you do WITH him that will really count. It’s the feeling he gets on that day as he experiences it with you, that remains…not the memory of your lip gloss color, blush or nail polish.
7) A groom’s cool factor is not about how he can spend money on getting her whatever she wants and looking good on that day or any day: It’s about how he can make her feel so comfortable in her own skin, that she can relax and have fun:
As a grooms or husbands, one of our main jobs is to help our wives manage, eliminate and forget their insecurities about themselves so they can come out of their shell and be who they are or are meant to be. Part of our job as husbands is to make them feel so secure, that they get more and more comfortable focusing on their authentic self rather than their “packaged” self.
8) When you two are together, the crowd around you will follow your lead:
This is a solution to in-law problems, kids problems, extended family problems, and many other problems. Togetherness. I’m not just talking from the angle of being “together” in marital status but I’m talking actually being together…in one mind...one spirit. I’m talking about being AGREED. External elements (people, in-laws, friends, life etc) will always feel a little bolder to attempt to come between you two, when you are not “together”. Its’s easy access. It’s like locking the front door but leaving the back door wide open. However, when you are in oneness of mission...oneness in mind...oneness in goals...oneness in spirit, it acts as a deterrent to external forces. You know those “DO NOT DISTURB” signs on hotel room doors…yes…Oneness does that for your marriage… you literally become impenetrable …you become unstoppable.
9) Marriage is all about the ability to PARTNER:
There are many people out there who are kind and sweet and nice and patient and cute and all that…but don’t know how to partner.
There are many people out there looking for a life partner, but who know very little about partnership. Tobi Atte
This is key for marriage. Partnership. Really truly understanding partnership . How to devote ourselves to the accomplishment of a common goal….how to serve the goal and not ourselves. How to take one ...or two ..or three for the team…how to define, communicate and execute roles…how to take constructive criticism…how to actually partner… now that’s an important trait to have.
So take a look at your relationship…take a look at your marriage. Are you really into each other…are you really “together”? Do you trust each other…Do you play together…are you truly Partners?
It’s never too early (or too late) to start building these blocks.
I pray for all the marriages out there that are going through rough times. I pray that love will find its way back to you. I pray that the love of Jesus will heal every brokenness and that peace will reign in your home. I pray that as you put in the work, God will touch both your hearts in Jesus' name.So what did you think of the video? Any other good lessons we can extract? Comment below...someone might learn from you. Video credits go to:
Judy and Gavin Holt. They are a husband-wife wedding photography and videography team based in Los Angeles. Their video page here: https://vimeo.com/gavinholt