When you know you are best for them but they don't realize it
Right from the beginning you knew.
You knew that if they just opened...shined their eyes, they would see you as who you are... what you are and what you could be for them - specifically, that you are God's gift to them. That you were the best thing for them right now.
And it sucks when they don't get it.
The relationship hasn't even kicked off proper, but your heart is already bursting with ideas and #relationship goals and you pledging the relationship oath of allegiance that you will do your very best to take care of this person.
Or maybe the relationship took off . (At least so you thought). You guys are doing "couple stuff" and you're thinking "If this goes to the next level, I'll low key do the Azonto dance in the bathroom.
As a man, you seem to have grown broader shoulders as you emotionally open yourself up to take on her burdens as yours and as woman, the walls around your heart have all fallen like Jericho was the practice before the show.
You're right there...then
They start to get cold feet...or they are starting to act funny.
You know, they start to act like they are trying to create an argument that they can use as reason to break up. Throwing a legit fit because you brought a different flavor of ice cream from the store.... reacting like a total victim because you gave some feedback about something) and they finally come out to tell you that:
This is not going to work.
You ask why, and they give you a flimsy reasons why this relationship is not going to work or why they would rather bee with someone else
You're sitting there. Nodding your head as they ramble on about how its not you its them and blah blah blah.
But you know the truth.
You know that:
You have put up with so with them, that they clearly didn't recognize it:
So many things they do that you patiently work through. So many things you patiently take not because they are not big deals, but because YOU chose not to make a big deal out of them. It's like they don't see their flaws
They have not put in the work to change and so the next person is going to see the exact things you did (and probably wont put up with it)
What do you do?
How do you justify this?
How do you respond when the person you're with does not see you for what you are in that relationship for them?
Remember:
It could be true that you are not best for them:
I know you were not expecting to hear that. But there it is. YOU may think that your display of affection was so epic (in your eyes) but perhaps you have not cared for them in the way that natters for them.
As hard as it may be, try hard not to look at a break up through the lenses of other people:
What they will think, how you will look, what they think it will mean and so on. That ALWAYS magnifies things unnecessarily.
You deserve to be with someone who is sure they want to be with you.
It always makes a difference. It affects everything. If they are unsure now, that might be a gift.
That said, don't rush out. Lean in.
Understand what they are really saying about their experience in the relationship. See if there are things you need to work on that perhaps you didn't realize.
If is IS true that you are committed on the inside, make a commitment for the outside:
Once you lean in, make a commitment to be better.
If all that is still not accepted, again...this might be a gift. Take it:
You've probably heard me say it before. God does not rob Peter to pay Paul. If this is not the one for you, God will bring someone else.
A final thought...
You knowing you are best for them when they don't see it, is less about them and more about you. It is more about you being patient, considerate with them, accommodating with them, and probably putting their needs before yours. You should celebrate that ... and you should protect that. Don't lose that.
The right person will see that and appreciate you for it.
That’s it!
Comment below.
Have you ever been through this before?
What hit home the hardest in this post for you?
If you had to encourage someone reading this post, what would want them to know?
Oh...share this piece! It might bless someone!